Separated but not divorced: when you still live together after separation
- 1 day ago
- 6 min read
Updated: 5 hours ago
In many marriages, the end does not begin with an argument. It begins with an unspoken realisation.
At some point, one person concludes that they no longer wish to continue the marriage as an intimate partnership. That conclusion may not be announced immediately. It may not even be fully articulated beyond a deep internal certainty.
Once that decision is made, the marriage has changed in substance.
The household may continue. The same property is shared. Bills are paid. Children are collected from school. To friends and extended family, life appears undisturbed.
Privately, however, the relationship no longer operates as a marriage.
Many couples in England and Wales find themselves in this position: separated in reality, but still living under the same roof.
This article is not about whether you should divorce. It is about understanding what prolonged indecision may mean legally and financially once the marital relationship has, in practice, come to an end.
When separation exists in reality, not geography
Under the Divorce, Dissolution and Separation Act 2020, divorce is based on a statement that the marriage has irretrievably broken down. Fault is no longer required.
However, long before a divorce application is issued, a factual question can arise: when did the marriage end in substance?
Separation does not require living at different addresses. Couples can be separated while remaining in the same property. The law looks at the reality of the relationship rather than the appearance of the household.
Courts may later consider factors such as:
Sleeping in separate bedrooms
The cessation of an intimate relationship
Separate financial arrangements
Clear communication that the marriage is over
Social presentation as separated
What matters is whether the marital partnership has ended in practice. The difficulty arises when that internal decision has been made, yet no practical or legal framework follows.
Living together after the decision
When at least one spouse has decided the marriage is over, continuing to live together becomes a transitional arrangement, even if it is not described as such.
There may be sensible reasons:
Mortgage constraints
Property market conditions
Business entanglement
Children’s schooling
A wish to manage social or family reactions carefully
These considerations are often reasonable. However, once the marital relationship has ended in substance, time continues to move forward legally and financially. Income is earned. Pensions accrue. Businesses evolve. Property values change. Debts may increase or reduce.
Remaining under the same roof does not pause these developments. Indecision is understandable, but it is not neutral.
Financial consequences of remaining legally married
Once a marriage has ended in substance, it is easy to assume that financial independence has also begun. Legally, that is rarely the case.
Until financial claims are resolved by a court-approved order, the legal bond between spouses continues to carry financial consequence. Divorce alone does not automatically extinguish those claims.
Under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973, the court retains broad discretion to consider income, capital, pensions and other financial resources when determining a fair outcome. Those claims remain open until formally dismissed. This has practical implications.
If you continue living together after emotional separation:
Income earned during that period may still be relevant
Pension contributions continue to accrue
Business interests may increase or decrease in value
Savings may accumulate
Debts may be incurred
These developments do not occur in isolation simply because the relationship has shifted privately.
An illustrative example
Consider a couple who decide in January that their marriage is over. They remain living in the same property for two further years while arranging housing and schooling. During that time, one spouse receives a promotion. Their income increases and additional pension contributions are made. The other spouse continues working part-time and contributes toward household expenses.
No formal financial agreement is reached.
When divorce proceedings are eventually issued, the increased income and pension growth are not automatically excluded simply because the emotional separation occurred earlier. The court will examine the overall circumstances, including the fact that the parties remained legally married and financially connected during that period.
The example is not unusual. It illustrates how time, even when spent under the same roof, can alter the financial landscape in ways that are only fully understood later.
The law does not penalise delay, but nor does it treat it as financially neutral.
Even where the decision to end the marriage arises from a specific event, such as the discovery of infidelity, the legal framework remains the same. Emotional causes may differ. Some separations follow years of gradual distance. Others follow a sudden breach of trust.
Whatever the catalyst, once the marital relationship has ended in substance, the financial structure of the marriage continues to exist until it is formally addressed.
A note on unmarried couples
It is important to recognise that the position described above applies only to those who are legally married or in a civil partnership.
In England and Wales, there is no legal status known as common law marriage, regardless of how long a couple have lived together.
The discretionary financial regime under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 applies only to married couples and civil partners.
If an unmarried couple separates, the legal position is materially different. There is no automatic right to financial redistribution based on fairness or length of relationship. Property disputes are generally determined by principles of trust and land law, focusing on legal ownership and evidence of shared intention.
In practical terms:
Income earned by one partner after separation is not subject to redistribution
Pension sharing is not available
Claims between former partners are usually limited to property interests
Where children are involved, financial provision may be sought for the child’s benefit, not as spousal-style maintenance
Before assuming that delay carries the same implications as it would in a marriage, it is important to understand which legal framework governs your relationship.
The family home and mortgage realities
The family home is often the reason couples remain together physically after separation.
Mortgage affordability, refinancing constraints and market conditions can make immediate relocation unrealistic. In a higher-interest environment, selling or buying independently may feel financially unmanageable.
Common questions include:
If one spouse pays the mortgage alone after separation, does that increase their entitlement?
Can one spouse require the other to leave?
Should the property be sold immediately or retained temporarily?
Paying the mortgage alone does not automatically alter ownership proportions. Contributions may be relevant in negotiations, but the court’s focus remains fairness across the entirety of the marital resources.
Equally, leaving the property without advice can affect practical and financial dynamics, particularly where children are involved.
Children and stability considerations
Many couples remain living together primarily for their children. Continuity can feel protective. It avoids sudden school disruption. It preserves daily routines. It allows time for measured planning. However, prolonged ambiguity can introduce its own difficulties. Children often perceive tension even where conflict is contained. Informal parenting arrangements can become entrenched without clear agreement. Remaining under one roof does not prevent thoughtful planning for the future.
Privacy, social stigma and the fear of change
For some, hesitation is not purely financial.
Divorce can carry social implications. Couples may be concerned about losing shared friendship groups, disappointing extended family, affecting professional standing or confronting cultural or religious expectations.
In close communities, privacy matters. Remaining under one roof can feel like a way of managing disclosure and retaining control over the timing of change.
This instinct is understandable.
However, legal and financial realities do not pause simply because separation has not been made public. Property, pensions, business interests and income continue to evolve.
It is possible to seek advice discreetly without making any public announcement.
Is there a right time to divorce?
There is rarely a perfect moment. For some couples, a period of continued cohabitation provides space for orderly planning. For others, extended uncertainty increases stress and financial exposure.
Divorce is a legal process. Separation is a lived experience. They do not always progress at the same pace. What matters is informed deliberation rather than speed.
Frequently asked questions
Can you be separated while living in the same house?
Yes. Separation is determined by the reality of the relationship rather than physical distance.
Does living together prevent divorce?
No. You may apply for divorce while remaining under the same roof.
Do financial claims end when we emotionally separate?
No. Financial claims remain open until resolved by a court-approved order.
If we delay divorce, can future income still be considered?
Potentially, yes.
Is common law marriage recognised in England and Wales?
No. Unmarried couples are treated under different legal principles.
Discussing your situation
Each family’s circumstances are different. Some couples remain living together briefly while planning their next steps. Others find themselves in prolonged uncertainty without structure.
Throughout the process, the interests and welfare of any children involved are paramount under the Children Act 1989, with courts prioritising their physical, emotional, and educational needs when making arrangements for living, contact, and financial support.      
A private discussion with a solicitor can clarify timing, risk and available options. Eddison Cogan Lawyers advise individuals and families across England and Wales on divorce, financial settlements and complex asset arrangements.
The following note is included for clarity and completeness: This article is provided for general information purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. The law in England and Wales may change, and its application will depend on individual circumstances. Reading this article does not create a solicitor-client relationship. You should seek independent legal advice before taking or refraining from any action based on the information contained here.
